What I learned with 18 years of infertility
On the 11th June eighteen years ago I was just a fearful teenager, in hospital, anaesthetised, being cut open on an operating table - this was the beginning of me trying to cope with the unbearable pain and mess of #MRKH and #infertility
My diagnosis made me feel lost, full of uncertainty of who I was, and what the future had stored for me. I decided I wanted to regain some control back and deal with what could be solved first. This meant having a vaginoplasty, a surgery to reconstruct the vagina.
Everyday on this day I celebrate.
This is a day to remember how far I’ve come with coping with this diagnosis.
This is a day to remember the first step of what was actually a long journey - because having surgery is easy after all, the challenge is in coping with the lifelong losses of infertility.
Things to remember
Some lessons I’ve learned along the way and would like to have known at that young age:
🌸 Don’t ask ‘why me?’. If you do, this question will haunt you forever. Just believe that one day things will be better and you will understand.
🌸 Focus on what’s right, not on what’s wrong. It can be so easy to count how many things are wrong with us. But make a purposeful choice to see what’s good and beautiful about you, your body and mind.
🌸 Love yourself unconditionally. Infertility can challenge our sense of identity, making us feel we are not good enough. Make a decision today that you are perfect just as you are, and nothing is more important that self love. This sets the standards you accept for yourself and everything else in life - love, friends, work - will come from there.
🌸 Every challenge is an opportunity. Every situation can be seen from different perspectives. It’s ok to mourn the losses. It’s also ok to choose a perspective that supports your wellbeing. Ask yourself ‘if this could mean something else, what would it be?’.
🌸 Grow beyond the suffering. From unbearable pain, we can also experience unbelievable growth. Face your fears. Take the chance. You have a unique power from the circumstances you are going through. Make use of that power.
Coping with infertility can be challenging. Book a support consultation here.